


Let's Play Pretend

by AdventTraitor



Category: Magi: The Labyrinth of Magic
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-05
Updated: 2013-04-05
Packaged: 2017-12-07 13:48:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/749213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AdventTraitor/pseuds/AdventTraitor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Judal discovers that he is not fond of introspection.  Basically an exploration of a part of Judal's character.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let's Play Pretend

It was easier to pretend not to care.

Not that it was a complete act and that Judal was secretly a bleeding heart, but these… emotions… became an issue occasionally. Just a little pang of guilt here and there, sometimes an off feeling whenever he got particularly savage suggestions from that organization. It was never enough to deter him from actually doing the deed, but it sometimes made it…difficult.

Murdering entire cities is nothing; humans are greedy pigs just waiting for their slaughter. Women and children too, they were no different. Gender did not change basic human nature, and age was nothing when every last human would eventually grow into the beast it truly is.

Most of all, it had been ingrained in him not to care for humans, or at most, find a favorite and keep it for a pet. For eighteen years, it had been reinforced over and over and over again that humans were beneath someone of his stature and that he should pay them little mind—aside from the ones that could be manipulated to Al-Sarmen’s ends, and even then, only until they had run their course of usefulness and were to be disposed of.

Still, sometimes he finds himself…empathizing with them. He knew the concept of compassion, but because it was such a weak and useless emotion, Judal chooses to believe that he is incapable of feeling such a thing.

One of the worst things to happen to him was meeting that stupid king. Sinbad was, and still is, a greater problem for him than he will ever let on to Al-Sarmen. Something about him put Judal in a state of discontent. It wasn’t exactly a bad feeling, but it was foreign and unknown and therefore he did not like it.

Despite his outward displays of nonchalance and complete disregard for everything, Judal was always watching—watching as far as Leim and Partevia in the west, to Balbadd further east, and especially Sindria in the south. He watched as kings and emperors schemed and plotted and waged wars in the name of some ‘noble’ cause before perishing due to their own stupidity and selfishness.

That’s why he was so drawn to Sinbad in the first place; the High King, though he sometimes made seemingly dishonorable choices, was an honorable and trustworthy man. This contradicted everything about human nature that Judal had ever been told or witnessed himself. (As it is, human nature itself seems to be contradictory, the more Judal observes.) The fact that Sinbad was already hallway fallen into depravity should have reinforced the original notion in Judal’s mind—that every human is destined to fall prey to primal and violent instincts—but…that nagging voice had a point. It was true that Sinbad was well on his way to falling the rest of the way down, but he was different because of the reason he had fallen—not selfishness, nothing for himself. It was out of love and respect, for his friends and citizens, for his country.

Ever since Judal could remember, everything was black and white, with no in between. But that man…he made him question his morality, even if it was only a tiny fraction of a percentage. That, more than anything, was what made Judal so very uncomfortable.

Regardless, another strange emotion showed itself when he observed the munchkin Magi making so many friends and allies wherever he went. At first he was offended; Magi have no place making such strong connections with humans—not even with their king candidates. Soon after though, it changed to something uglier as he watched more and more people succumb to his tiny little smiles, even Sinbad to an extent, though he would be surprised if there weren’t some ulterior motive behind the great king’s friendship with the brat.

There were always ulterior motives when a Magi was involved.

Judal had no illusions about what was going on; he knew outright that he was being used. He told himself that it was okay, because he was using Al-Sarmen right back, but the thought never quite rang true. If he were to be honest with himself, he wouldn’t know what to do with himself were he to somehow escape that organization’s tight grasp. His entire life, back to his earliest memories, Al-Sarmen had been his parents, raising him into the person he is at present.

He wasn’t sure if he actually liked himself, or if he even cared. All he knew was what was in front of him, and for now that was Al-Sarmen. And besides…

What would he do…if he could get away…where would he go…? Did it matter?

Useless thoughts. Throwing around what-ifs never helped anything. Surely there are more important things to think about, rather than sit around wishing for things to be different. If he even did wish it. To be quite honest, Judal couldn’t care less if things changed or not.

Yet again, the words ring false in the back of his mind.


End file.
